


A night to forget, but a morning to remember

by PsychoticUnicorn



Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Moving On, Short One Shot, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-19 03:14:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29744127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoticUnicorn/pseuds/PsychoticUnicorn
Summary: It's too late to overthink now... to question his actions, to wonder if he's doing the right thing, or if he even deserves this, as he draws to a halt outside the well-known coffee shop that started it all.OR: A conversation between Victor and Benji at Brasstown the morning after Spring Fling.
Relationships: Benjamin "Benji" Campbell/Victor Salazar
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	A night to forget, but a morning to remember

**Author's Note:**

> It’s late at night and this piece has been in the drafts for a while so I finished it because I can’t sleep. Haven’t re-read it, so you’ll have to excuse the spelling mistakes and grammar errors lol, apologies :) x

There's something about seeing Benji for the first time since their kiss last night that makes Victor's heart rate pick up with anxiety. He's got less than two minutes to travel to their agreed meeting location of Brasstown, a mixture of fear and excitement consuming him. He tries to talk himself into calming down as he pleads for his legs, weak at the knees, to carry him just a bit further. Benji wants him; he said as much, twice. There's nothing to worry about.

 _It's just Benji_.

A part of him had almost convinced himself it was all a dream at first — Benji ending it with Derek, choosing him, their confessions, that _kiss_ — until Benji actually answered the phone to him an hour ago, confirming that something positive had indeed come out of an unpleasant evening. _I meant every word,_ came Benji's voice of reassurance through the speaker. _I want you, Victor_. It's a relief to know they're on the same page as far as their relationship goes.

Victor is mindful; he acknowledges just how differing a relationship with Benji is going to be compared to his relationship with Mia. There's a level of excitement he's never felt before, with anyone. It's electric, roaring his engine into the purr of anticipation. A foreign sense of euphoria that comes as inner sunshine, brightening his eyes and soul. Body dominated by nerves, the satisfying variety of approaching something that matters deeply to him, and the need to get it right.

As he walks the peaceful street, tucking his hands into his jacket pockets for warmth, a smile grows of its own accord. He's nearing closer to Brasstown... to Benji.

If only it was that simple.

A sudden wave of distasteful emotions erupt through him at the realisation. It's not sitting on his chest, but swirling around his brain. A voice in the back of his mind, warning him to go back. A laugh, bitter and twisted, reminding him that he's being selfish. He's ruined lives, turned them upside down and left nothing but a catastrophe in his wake, yet here he is about to take that first step towards moving on. To grasp that bit of happiness he's had the fortune of discovering amidst the wreck he's caused.

He thinks about his parents and how they would feel if they knew he was meeting up with another boy, after their short-lived yet heavy conversation last night. _We'll continue this in the morning_ , his father had said as his final words, far too soon, with so much left unsaid. They had been dismissive, and so Victor returned that same energy this morning when he left their home before giving them a chance to spark the topic to life again. And then he wonders what Mia would be saying about him if she knew that he wasted no time in phoning Benji; barely waiting for the dust to settle before he reached out.

It's too late to overthink now... to question his actions, to wonder if he's doing the right thing, or if he even deserves this, as he draws to a halt outside the well-known coffee shop that started it all.

He swallows down his nerves as he catches sight of Benji through the window, seeing the older boy settled at one of the tables inside, two hot drinks in front of him. He hasn't yet noticed Victor and his attention remains occupied as he leans back in his chair, cell phone in front of him, appearing to type out a text, if the brisk motion of his thumbs beating against the screen is anything to go by. A few strands of perfect hair fluttering onto his forehead, but he ignores it.

Through a release of breath, Victor pushes open the door to Brasstown.

At the sharp creek of the coffee shop's door to alert a new customer, Benji loses prompt interest in his phone in favour of focusing his gaze on the newcomer. A grin develops on his features, broad and contagious when his eyes meet Victor's, warm and welcoming. A typical Benji smile, with crinkles by his eyes and teeth on display. Victor forgets how to breathe for a moment, accepting the view gladly.

A smile of his own pulls at his lips, unable to help it, and he exhales calmly, soft and not noticed by anyone else. The happiness radiates between them. A blissful infection that blossoms from the tingle in his fingers and toes, passing throughout his body, trapped in his bones and wrapped around his skin. A warm ocean wave, washing away the stress of the last twenty-four hours, leaving him feeling refreshed inside.

Victor gravitates towards the brightness, a haul that's impossible to fight, even if he tried. Eyes not leaving Benji's as he navigates his way to his table.

'Hey,' Benji greets smoothly. 'I got you a cappuccino.'

Victor nods wordlessly, taking a seat opposite his date. 'Thanks.' A timid curl of his lips, he wraps his hands around the heated beverage and brings it closer to himself.

It's comfortably quiet. There's just a few other people to have chosen the same drinking spot as them at the exact time: an elderly man sitting by the window with his head in a book, a man and woman with polite smiles and sweet gestures of hand-holding on the table furthest away from them, and two young girls by the counter, patiently waiting for their order. More people will come and go as the hours roll by, but the scene at this time is convenient enough for Victor to touch on such a sensitive topic with Benji.

'So,' Benji begins, eyeing Victor with concern as he prepares the right words to say about their complicated situation. 'You, uh, wanna talk about what happened last night?'

Victor nods, bringing his coffee cup to his lips and taking a sip. It's warm rather than hot, indicating that Benji had gotten it a bit ago, but it's drinkable and he very much welcomes the bitter yet delightful taste on his tongue. A coffee (and Benji) is just what he needs after a dreadful night followed by an awkward morning.

'Mia saw us,' Victor informs him, nervous to be bringing up their kiss so soon, but also stuck with a starting point. 'I was going to tell her, I promise. I just didn't want her to find out that way. I didn't want to ruin her night, you know? But she saw you and me... on the bench.'

Benji sighs at that, a hint of shame as he shakes his head at their behaviour. 'I'm so sorry, Victor.'

'It's cool. Well, I mean, it's not but—' Victor just shrugs, helpless. 'It's happened now and there's nothing I can do to change it.'

Benji nods, finally pushing those fallen strands of hair back into place. 'So you haven't spoke to her about it?'

'I've tried,' Victor replies, frowning. 'I've left messages, calls... she won't hear me out, Benji. And I don't blame her — I cheated more than once and being...' Eyes darting around the area, he's satisfied when he realises their quiet volumes have alerted nobody, the shop's customers all in a world of their own. They land back on Benji and he pushes the terrifying word out in a secretive whisper, '... _gay_ doesn't excuse that.' He's taken over by the guilt, an aching feeling in his chest called remorse. It's a weight that's heavy on his shoulders as he avoids the other boy's gaze, focusing on his coffee instead. 'I've messed up so bad.'

'Hey.' Benji sits up, leans forward and fights the urge to reach for Victor's hand to comfort him. He doesn't though, now that he's got his attention back, sombre eyes glaring back at him. And also because he doesn't want to freak him out by pushing any boundaries before they're set.

'Don't beat yourself up too much, okay?' he goes on, tone hushed to now peak the interest of the few people around them inside the small business. 'You've suffered, too.'

Victor scoffs in disbelief.

'You _have_ ,' Benji says more firmly. 'It's not easy, coming to terms with who you are.'

'That doesn't give me the right to hurt people the way I have,' Victor admits regretfully. 'Regardless of what I was going through... it doesn't justify it.'

'No,' Benji agrees. 'You made a mistake — _we_ made a mistake. But we're young, Victor. And stupid sometimes. It doesn't mean we don't deserve a second chance. An opportunity to make things right.' Through a sigh, he pursues. 'Look, it took my mom and dad weeks to properly forgive me for the Wendy's incident. Just — I don't know, maybe just give Mia some time and she might do the same.'

Victor looks at him, and he tries to find some sign of dishonesty in his eyes. Like he's saying these things for the sake of saying them. But when he's met by the most pure, fond light browns, a closed-mouth but kind smile to complete the portrait, he believes him. Every word and he latches on to them because if he doesn't, the self-hatred will only become violent. He needs someone to praise him, someone on his side, someone to fight his corner, even if he hasn't earned it.

'Okay,' Victor says, nodding, a sudden rush of determination. 'Yeah, I won't give up.'

'Good,' Benji replies.

The conversation expires for a fleeting moment. And Victor wouldn't normally mind a silence that lands between them because more so than not, it's serene and healthy; only this time, it consists of a wordless stare, intense and curious, from Benji opposite him. Victor drinks from his caffeinated drink, swallowing, and is about to question it, until he doesn't have to.

'I'm guessing you didn't get much sleep,' Benji observes, eyes detailed with compassion. 'You look exhausted.'

'Yeah, not really,' Victor reveals. 'First Mia, then my parents...'

'How did they take it?'

'My parents?'

Benji nods and Victor exhales wistfully.

'My mom cried,' he explains. 'And my dad did all the talking. He tried to convince me that I wasn't thinking straight — no pun intended.' He takes pride in being the reason Benji's lip turn up into a brief amused smirk before he continues. 'He kept saying that Mia is just one of many girls. You know, just because I'm not attracted to _Mia_ doesn't mean I'm not attracted to girls in general. So I...' he trails off through shyness. 'I told them about you.'

Benji lifts his brows, surprised. 'You told them about me?'

'Yeah,' confirms Victor, panicking just a bit as he rushes out an explanation. 'Is that a problem? I just — just wanted them to know that I've not only experimented with girls, but I've also had experiences with boys — well, a boy. To help them understand—'

'Victor, calm down.' Benji smiles, genuine. 'I'm not mad you told your parents.'

Victor sighs, more comfortable now as he nods. 'Great. Um, and then there's Pilar — she told me she hasn't got a problem with me being... well me. And she even said she's proud of me.'

'That's great,' Benji replies, but he's frowning in confusion. 'You don't sound pleased?'

'She also made it clear that it's gonna be a while before she forgives me,' Victor persists. 'For the cheating, how I treated Mia, the lies.'

'That sucks,' Benji comments, voice laced with empathy.

'Yeah,' Victor mutters. 'But they haven't disowned me yet, so it could be worse.'

'Well, for what it's worth, I'm proud of you.'

Victor bites down a smile, cheeks warm at the heartfelt confession. 'That... actually means a lot.'

He decides to veer their conversation though, disturbed by the thought of describing anything else regarding coming out to his parents and how he betrayed Mia, wanting nothing more than to travel back in time to change so much of it, go about things in a more appropriate manner. It was displeasing and distressing for everyone involved, and he wishes he could forget it for the time-being.

' _Anyway_ , that's enough about me,' Victor says, straightening his posture as he nods towards Benji. 'What about you?'

Benji smiles, but his brows are drawn together in puzzlement. 'What about me?'

'You and Derek,' Victor pushes on, drawing a blank stare from Benji. 'Uh, the break-up? Don't tell me I imagined it.'

'Oh.' Benji offers a slight chuckle, though it sounds empty and forced. His face moderately collapses, deprived of emotion, and he shrugs. 'Nothing to tell.'

Victor knows he's not speaking the truth. He watches him intently, but he doesn't receive the same back. Benji's grown more tense, an obvious discomfort in his body language; regular tapping of his index finger on the table and avoiding the other's glare. It's a similar reaction to how he looked driving back in the car from Willacoochee. Victor just _knows_ the break-up didn't end at Spring Fling.

'If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine,' Victor promises. 'But please, don't lie to me, Benji. I can't deal with anymore lies, not when it comes to you.'

Benji meets his look at that, a brief hesitation as he acknowledges the serious desperation in Victor's voice, before he exhales apologetically, nodding. 'Okay, fine,' he says. 'After I got home from the dance, Derek turned up. He was upset and drunk — and yeah, my parents weren't amused.'

Victor frowns. 'What happened?'

'I felt sorry for him, and kinda responsible,' Benji discloses. 'I couldn't just kick him out, not while he was like that, so I helped sober him up a bit. I made him coffee and we talked.' He's reluctant to move on with the tale, drawing in his bottom lip with his teeth. But he does, because he wants to be honest. 'And I think he... misread the signals.'

Victor's heart sinks and his mouth parts just a bit in surprise, and he hates himself for being so possessive of Benji already, when they've barely even put a title on what they are. They've _technically_ only kissed once — and even that was flawed — yet here he is, acting like he's about to lose his husband of twenty-five years. He wants to kick himself at not being able to control the flaring jealousy that's flowing through his blood. It sort of feels like he's now in Derek's shoes, he comprehends, as messy as it all is.

'What?' Benji challenges after noticing the switch in Victor's attitude, a smirk growing on his mouth as he eyes him curiously. 'You think I was all for it?'

Victor blushes, wetting his dried lips, anxiety peaking. 'Um. Well, I guess I don't know. You guys were together a long time...'

'Yeah, we were,' Benji agrees. 'And during that time, I only have a handful of good memories to take from it.'

Victor relaxes, both visibly and mentally, at hearing this. He nods, offering his most apologetic smile. Though he feels somewhat sympathetic that Benji's past relationship didn't meet his expectations — Benji who deserves the best, and more than — he can't help being thankful to Derek, for messing up to the point Victor now gets to show him how much of the world he can give him. Because of Derek's mistakes and mistreatment of Benji and their relationship, Victor is given the chance to know him on the level Derek never deserved to. It's fucked up, but nothing about their love story has been straight-forward so far.

'Did he give you a hard time?' Victor asks. 'Like, uh, when you told him he had it wrong?'

Benji fidgets with his near-empty coffee cup and scrunches his face. 'We argued about it, and it got a bit... loud. So my dad got involved and told him he had to leave.'

'And he did?'

Benji lets out a short, breathy laugh. 'You haven't met my dad yet, Victor. Anyone in their right mind would. I mean, he's not a bad guy or anything, just... someone you don't want to get on the wrong side of, I guess.'

'He sounds protective,' Victor notes.

'Yeah... he can be,' Benji confirms, but there's a distance in his eyes. Almost as if he's lost, unsure of himself, despite the confidence in his tone.

'You okay?' Victor finds himself asking, unable to shift the curiosity and concern from his mind.

'Yeah. Yeah, I'm good,' Benji promises before he abruptly moves on; some may say _too_ quickly. 'I'm just glad you rang earlier. Like, seriously, you have no idea how nervous I was that you'd change your mind.'

Victor's character breaks into a grin, eyed wide in delight to hear they've both been experiencing the same mindset, and even happier to come to the conclusion that they've both been overthinking for nothing. 'That I'd change my mind?' Victor says, laughing a bit. 'I kept worrying that you thought you'd made a mistake.'

Benji becomes more serious, a spark of admiration in his eyes, his mouth drawn into a sincere half-smile. His voice is low, but firm. 'It's all I've thought about, Victor.'

Relief visible as his shoulders relax, Victor mirrors his demeanour, nodding. 'Yeah, me too.'

Benji drinks the remaining liquid in his cup through a smile. 'So, where do we go from here?' he questions. 'How do _we_ move on?'

'I'm ready for a relationship,' Victor says carefully. 'For us to be together, but... I don't know if I'm ready for everyone to know just yet.'

There's a twitch of discomfort from Benji, and Victor exhales out of guilt.

'I know it's not ideal and it won't be forever, I promise,' Victor assures him. 'It's just... with everything that's happened this past week—'

'Victor, stop.' Benji cuts him off strongly, but keeps his delivery pleasant. 'You don't have to explain yourself. I've been where you are and I get it. I know how terrifying it is. You need time, and I respect that.'

'So... you're not mad?'

'I mean,' Benji shrugs, 'it's gonna be hard, pretending to be your friend. And yeah, as much as _I_ want people to know about us, it's not about me. You need to go at your own pace. But when you are ready to take that step, I'll be here to support you.'

Victor smiles bashfully. 'Thank you, Benji.'

Benji smiles back. 'How about I get us another coffee? You look like you need it.' He pushes his chair back to stand.

'No — let me,' Victor offers, standing instead. 'You bought the first and I believe in equality in relationships.'

Benji's face sparkles with amusement. 'Fine by me.'

Flashing him one final grin, Victor temporarily abandons their area to place an order at the counter. It's as he's waiting for assistance that he realises he doesn't want this moment to end. He's content in Benji's company, and he hasn't felt this understood in a very long time. But their coffee date is going to end, sooner or later, and so he's forced to accept the inevitable, but silently prays for the hours ahead to be as kind to him.

Victor doesn't know what the future holds at all, and he wishes he could predict the next few months, but he's in the dark as much as the rest of the world. He doesn't know if his parents are ever going to find it in them to love him as much as they did before they knew. He doesn't know if Pilar is going to look at him the same, ever rely on him again, after all the lies and cheating. He doesn't know if he's seen the last of Derek — or is he going to become someone he has to protect his new relationship from? And he doesn't know if he's going to get that second chance at friendship with Mia.

It's all ifs, buts and maybes at the moment, where everything is uncertain. That's everything, but the one thing he does know, and that's Benji. He doesn't know the answer to any of the above, but he'll have Benji with him to deal with whatever comes his way, thick or thin.

And that's all he can ask for right now.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
